Ross Reck's Reminders

... we can’t just push a magical button to change things.

I’ve seen this quote posted in a number of places this past year.  It tells us that if we’re unhappy with our lot in life, we can’t just push a magical button to change things.  In reality, however, there is a magic button that we can push if we want to change things–it’s called our attitude.  Whether a hill is steep or gradual, whether a glass is half-empty or half-full or whether a dream seems impossible or doable all depend on our attitude.  And, the good news is, we get to choose our attitude!  If we choose a positive attitude, our life will be full of exciting and wonderful accomplishments and adventures.  If we choose a negative attitude we will see ourselves as victims of circumstances and in the same old rut.  As the philosopher William James put it, “The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.  As you think, so shall you be.”

Because Ghana genuinely cares about her customers

There are two Fry’s Supermarkets near my home and a vivacious checker named Ghana works at one of them.  Whenever my wife and I shop and she’s working, her check-out line is always much longer than any of the others and it’s filled with people who choose to stand in line a little longer in order interact with Ghana.  Why?  Because Ghana genuinely cares about her customers–she’s always wearing a smile, she knows your name and she knows what’s going on in your life.  Furthermore, when she asks a question about you or your family, she actively listens to what you have to say.    In short, she treats everyone of her customers like a cherished old friend that she’s known for years. When you’re finished with your Ghana experience, the glow she ignited in you follows you all the way home. Fortunately, the Fry’s management has picked up on the “Ghana phenomenon.”  She’s now starring in a television commercial for the Fry’s chain.  Furthermore, every time my wife and I see the commercial, we get that glow from Ghana all over again.

...take off all your masks...

My oldest daughter recently sent me an issue of an internet publication called the Purpose Fairy.  This particular issue contained a list of 15 things we should give up if we want our lives to be easier and happier.  One in particular caught my attention and that was the need to impress others.  The article went on to issue the following advice: “Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way.  The moment you stop trying so hard to be something you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.”  This is excellent advice.  If you want to see the other 14 things that we should give up, go to www.purposefairy.com .

...I think apologizing on the spot is the way to go.

Last week’s Reminder on how feuds should have a time limit produced some very interesting comments.  The gist of that Reminder was that if feuds had time limits, there would be no long term grudges.  As it turns out, there are a number of very wise people who have imposed a time limit regarding any feud they get drawn into.  One subscriber told me that his time limit was 30 minutes meaning that within 30 minutes of having a quarrel with someone, he would visit or phone that person and apologize.  Another subscriber said that her rule was to make sure she apologized before the sun went down that day.  Still another said his rule was not to let a feud drag on more than 24 hours.  Finally, one subscriber said her rule was to apologize on the spot rather than let a quarrel drag on at all.  Personally, I think apologizing on the spot is the way to go.  It prevents all the anxiety associated with working up the courage necessary to get back to someone in order to mend the relationship.

... feuds don't have a time limit ...

Last week’s Reminder, which was about taking advantage of opportunities to forgive others, generated a fair number of comments.  One in particular caught my attention.  This person said, “I have a tear in my eye, and I wasn’t even there!  My wife hasn’t seen her sister for at least 30 years, but neither have my son or daughter met their other aunt.  Feuds should have a time limit, as life is too precious to hold any grudge.”  This gentleman makes an excellent point: if feuds had a time limit, there would be no long term grudges.  Unfortunately, feuds don’t have a time limit and the longer that time passes, the more difficult it becomes to do what is necessary to restore the relationship.  Of course, the best way to deal with feuds is to avoid them in the first place.  However, if you ever do find yourself pulled into one, don’t let it go on more than 24 hours before you take action to restore the relationship.  Take a deep breath, make that phone call and apologize.  You’ll feel much better and so will the other person.  More importantly, your relationship will be back to normal and you’ll avoid the agonizing experience of a long term grudge.

...hugged and hugged...

A friend of mine posted the most wonderful story on Facebook about forgiveness. I’d like to share her story with you.

“Yesterday I decided that I wanted to reconnect with my step daughter. We have been estranged for a number of years. Today, I literally ran into her in a department store. I looked at her and said, ‘Hi Laurie.’ She looked stunned and pointed to the man behind her and said, ‘This is my husband,’ and looking at him said, ‘this is my step mom.’ Then at the same time we reached for each other, hugged and hugged for the longest time while talking between tears.”

My friend could have changed her mind at the last minute and walked the other way, but she didn’t. Instead, she made the most of the opportunity and now a loving relationship has been restored.

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This past week, I received some wonderful quotes on how to treat other people.  The first was from my youngest daughter, Nancy.  The little girl who played George Clooney’s daughter in the movie, The Descendants, was asked in an interview what advice George Clooney gave her since she’s just starting out in acting.  She responded, “Wherever you go and whoever you meet, always treat people with kindness and humor.”  The second quote came from my friend John: “Never look down at ANYONE unless you’re picking them up.”  Following the advice contained in these quotes will make your life richer and more fulfilling because you’ll never make any enemies, you’ll form lots of really good friendships and you’ll have people waiting to pick you up during those times when you’re down.

...3,000 failed experiments...

Success doesn’t just happen.  It’s part of a process that usually begins with a lot of hard work – the kind that most people aren’t willing to do.  This is the unglamorous side of success that’s often referred to as “paying your dues.”  Paying your dues is necessary because this is where you gain the necessary knowledge that eventually enables you to become successful.  Behind every success story is a story about someone paying his or her dues.  Thomas Edison’s 3,000 failed experiments before he came up with a commercially successful light bulb is a classic example of this.  The lesson here is that if you want to become successful, you have to be prepared to pay your dues first.  On the other hand, if you are willing to pay your dues, your success becomes a foregone conclusion.  As Jerry Rice, probably the all-time best receiver ever to play in the National Football League put it, “Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.”